Going through a breakup with a narcissist, sociopath, psychopath or a malignant borderline can be gut twisting, heart wrenching and depressing.
It will test your boundaries and strength. It will turn you inside out and leave you exhausted.
This is not your average breakup, in which a relationship feels ‘complete,’ so that you can grieve, gather yourself and move on.
Far from it.
In this twilight zone, anger and grief dance a dark waltz with an unquenchable desire for the person to return.
This mixed bag of intense feelings stretching from repulsion to attraction is the result of what’s called trauma bond.
The distinctive feature of trauma bond is amplified rumination about the past that can take up near 100% of your brain’s real estate and hijack your nervous system for months and even years.
The mind churns clashing memories as if they were happening in real time, making it difficult to be present.
Instead of being here and now, you obsess about whether you ex still cares about you, what they might be thinking or doing right now and recycle a list of guilt-inducing what-ifs in you head.
