On Making Right Choices

Yes, you can make the ‘pros and cons’ list, ask why five times, and thoroughly analyze outcomes until your head hurts. The choice is yours, no pun intended. But I feel that making the right choices comes down to having one thing in place first: confidence.

Without confidence, the fuel to get us to destination will be in short supply, decisions will be less than favorable, and in the end our dreams will never quite materialize. In fact, often the choices we make, are not even ours; we do something someone else we think would’ve done. Which in some cases can be all right, but never optimal.

But how can we overcome the voices we’ve internalized that squander our confidence? You know these voices, they breed doubts and tell you you can’t do something you really want to do or get something you really want to have.

Often these voices have been with is so long, its hard to pinpoint their exact origin. Sometimes the more amplified negative beliefs about ourselves are a result of a more recent criticism we’ve accepted as true. (It’s amazing how we humans are so good at beating ourselves up even when there’s no one around). But one thing that unites them all is that they are just voices, thoughts running round and round in our heads, whispering: I can’t do it, I’m not good enough, don’t deserve it.

What makes a thought?

When faced with a difficult choice, and these days such moments come in bundles, it is paramount we are first connected with ourselves on a deeper level that exists beyond the layer of thinking. I don’t mean anything esoteric here, even though this idea might sound a bit nebulous at first.

The Silent Background

Have you ever paused to feel it or listen to it? It is really simple and easy to do; all it takes is a tiny shift in attention. The hard part is staying there for a prolonged moment, and that takes practice.

And what are those green numbers falling down the screen? These are concepts, passing through our minds like clouds in the sky, coming and going, without a clear point of origin or destination. One moment they are here; another moment they are gone, replaced by another. And there is nothing wrong with them unless they occlude our clarity, and make us believe they are us, which of course they are not.

Because they are always in flux and have an innate power to arouse emotions, thoughts can hold us back, incite doubts, fears and frustrations. It is very hard to make a good choice from a place like that.

Point of origin

Because that place is always there, unchanging and unaffected by life’s bazillion changing factors, it is a good place from which to act and decide. Brushing aside factors in flux, brings us right to the core of what truly matters.

From the perspective of a busy mind, the influences contributing to your present moment circumstance that seems to affect your next choice are close to infinite. Sidestepping all of them and going to the center instead, the core of your being is an option where there is only one obvious choice to be made.

It’s a shortcut.


Self-development tools for self-healing and authentic relating. #coach #writer mysoulgps.org

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