It is difficult to catch someone in a lie as it happens. Usually we realize it after the damage is done. Until then, it remains veiled. But here is the deal. When you suspect that you are dealing with a narcissist, overt or covert, you can be sure that he or she are lying. As they say, it comes with the territory.
Narcissists lie through their teeth. Lies are what their false persona, or the mask, is founded on. The persona is always grandiose and typically operates as a bully or as a victim.
Narcissists use lies to exploit others, affirm their grandiosity and garner admiration and validity, which they desperately seek in order to feel that they are live. Lies are not just a small part of who they are. It permeates them through and through.
The lies they tell serve an important purpose. They are not a defense mechanism, as some may believe. In fact, it can be dangerous to subscribe to this way of thinking because it excuses the narcissist and minimizes the damage. In worst cases, it enables. The lies are being told left and right to help the narcissist get what they want. That’s it.
“When disturbed characters engage in certain behaviors, some of which we have often called defense mechanisms, they don’t do so to protect against emotional pain, guilt or shame. Nor do they do so to keep a feared event from happening. Rather…
